Life Notes with Sheldon
Life Notes with Sheldon
Escaping the Rat Race
How often do you feel like time is speeding by, slipping through your fingers like sand in an hourglass? In this heartfelt exploration of life's most precious resource, we delve into the art of slowing down time in a world that constantly pushes us to speed up.
What would you do if you didn't have to work? When asked this question, most people mention simple pleasures—gardening, fishing, helping neighbors, or watching baseball games. These aren't extravagant dreams requiring great wealth, yet many of us postpone these joys while caught in the relentless rat race. We convince ourselves that happiness lies just beyond the next promotion, the next raise, or the next milestone. But studies reveal a surprising truth: beyond an annual income of roughly $100,000, additional money brings no significant improvement in happiness.
Through touching personal stories and timeless wisdom, we explore how certain people master the art of slowing down time. They create homes filled not with the latest gadgets or updated décor, but with peace, love, and genuine connection. By resisting the cultural pressure to constantly upgrade their surroundings, they create sanctuaries from our frenetic world.
The most poignant reminder comes from recognizing the finite nature of our relationships. How many summers do you have left with your children before they grow up? How many opportunities remain to create memories with aging parents or grandparents? When we truly grasp that our time with loved ones is limited, our priorities naturally shift toward what matters most.
Drawing inspiration from Anne Frank's remarkable ability to find beauty amid suffering, we discover that even in our most challenging moments, stepping back from our problems often reveals the perspective needed to solve them. By intentionally creating space for what truly matters, we transform ordinary moments into the building blocks of an extraordinary life.
Join us next week for another Life Note to help you get off the sidelines and back into the game of life as your best you.
Welcome to Life Notes with Sheldon, where we talk about ways to get off the sidelines and back into the game of life as your best you.
Speaker 1:Good afternoon, friends, and thank you for joining me, your host on Life Notes with Sheldon, where we talk about ways to get you off of the sidelines and back into the game of life as your very best self. It's a beautiful afternoon here in downtown Farmington, new Mexico, where we record the show on the second floor of the radio building overlooking beautiful downtown Farmington. And as I came in today, sean said man, I'm sorry about the heat you're having to deal with. Do you want a door open? Do you want a fan? And I said heat. This is wonderful. I would rather deal with the heat any day than the cold. You know, one thing that bothers me about late spring and kind of getting into summer is people get overly zealous with the air conditioner. You know, you go into a place and it's bone chilling cold and it feels good at first, but then, five minutes in, you just can't wait to get back out into the sunshine again just to thaw out, or it's so cold that your sinuses feel like they freeze. I'm so grateful that we're in this time of finally having some warm, beautiful weather. That reminds me how much yard work I need to go and get started on. Speaking of yard work, I'll talk to you about something.
Speaker 1:I visited with an individual today, a business owner whom I respect, he and his wife and as I was talking to them the subject came up about a kind of one of them joked about winning the lottery and she only needed this much to get out of debt. She didn't want too much, but we just kind of laughed about it. I said, hey, I'll take what you don't want. I'd be happy to find a way to spend that. That sounds fun. And as we were talking about it, I asked him. I said, well, what would you do if you didn't have to work, if you didn't have to feel like you were in the rat race? What would you do? And this is what he said. He said, you know, I would spend time in my yard, working in my yard, making it beautiful. I would. In the evening I would go and help someone you know, maybe that needed help repairing their car or something. I'd help a neighbor, help a friend. I'd have season tickets to baseball. I'd maybe live somewhere or be able to go to places where I could see my favorite team play baseball. And so you know, they weren't outlandish things at all. And you know, his wife said, you know, and we work in our yard now, but it kind of takes the fun out of it when you have to get to the next thing so quickly that you have to just blow and go through it so fast.
Speaker 1:And as I was thinking about this, you know, the things that he said were not outlandish. He wasn't talking about having some kind of crazy Bugatti or this is mansion overlooking, you know, the ocean. They were pretty, you know, pretty doable things for the when you consider the American dream. And as I thought about that, I thought, well, how many. And fishing, fishing, going fishing too. I thought, well, how many. And fishing, fishing, going fishing too. I thought, how many of those things are you are you doing?
Speaker 1:Now, you know, and and I think that no criticism here but so many of us we just make ourselves so busy and we convince ourselves that we're so busy that we forget that time is never going to slow down. It's not going to slow down, it doesn't slow for anyone. This timer we have, you know, I've seen this Facebook post recently and it has a young boy walking with his grandfather and they both have kind of an hourglass timer on their back and the grandson has one with a lot of sand on the top, and the grandfather has one with a lot of sand on the top, and the grandfather has one with a lot of sand on the bottom and just a little bit kind of trickling down on the top, and man, that is a powerful image to think of. You know, we all kind of are walking around with this hourglass, right, we have so much time in our glass that's passing and we can't. You know it's not going to slow, but we can in some ways slow that down. We really can.
Speaker 1:Did you know we could slow time down? Did you even know that was a possible thing? I believe that it is. You know, and maybe you recall your parents and grandparents talking about how fast time was going. Man, it just feels like time is speeding up. Did you ever hear them say that? I hear so many people say that, including myself. My 10-year-old daughter just yesterday said how can it already be Thursday, dad? I can't believe it. Time goes so fast. You know, even young children are feeling how time goes by so swiftly. So how do we slow it down and why is it important? Well, let me tell you, you only have a certain amount of summers with your kids. You only have a certain amount of summers with your dog. You only have a certain amount of summers with your wife Christmases, birthdays, Thanksgivings. So when you think of this and you approach life as this hourglass, you know, not in a negative way, not in a fearful way, but just recognizing that people are precious and the time that you have with them is precious. We can redirect our efforts and redirect some of that rat race, if you will.
Speaker 1:And how do we slow time? Well, we go back in time and we go to the home of Bob and Leah Carden, who lived in Farmington, new Mexico, and had incredibly successful, beautiful children who have all gone on to have amazing grandchildren. But you know, I remember going into their house and anybody who described Leah Carden would describe her as one word angel or angelic. She truly was a beautiful, incredible, godly, amazing woman in our community. Beautiful, incredible, godly, amazing woman in our community. But when you would go into that house you'd see them sitting on the couch and sometimes you'd see them sitting on the porch swing, husband and wife hand in hand, just totally happy and totally content, watching the world go by. And you know teenagers in town and adults and so many people it was just a gathering point, a hub, and people would love to go to that home. And partly why is because time slowed down.
Speaker 1:You know it was going back in time, you know, 30, 40, maybe 50 years. The furniture was old, the carpet was old, the woodwork was old, the decor was old, the paint was old, the kitchen linoleum was really old and the appliances were mustard yellow or whatever they were. You know, in that time years ago, and nobody cared, you know, nobody was judging them for not having a new paint or new kitchen hardware that was updated or a new deck. Nobody thought about how their home should be, they just enjoyed how it was. And how it was was largely probably how it was when they moved in. You see, they didn't get caught up in the things of life, they got caught up in each other and their family and the things that mattered most.
Speaker 1:And I really would have to think really hard to remember a time when I saw them rushing or hurried or frenzied. And when I think about that I think of, you know, my great uncle and aunt, bob and Mary Lou Breckenridge. A similar thing. They have a beautiful home out in Kirtland, new Mexico, and going into that home. You know, even you know, four years ago, before they passed away, I'd go in and there would be a landline and there would be an answering machine and there would be these relics of the past.
Speaker 1:But what there would be was an incredible piece. The carpet was older, smelled a little older, hadn't been updated in a while. But you know what I loved being in that home, because of the love that I felt from those two wonderful individuals, from the acceptance that I felt, from the peace that I felt there. So quiet, you know, even with Wi-Fi and routers there's these little noises that you hear and cell phones that beep. They didn't have a cell phone. There were no beeps, there were no pings, there were no email notifications, none of that. Occasionally, occasionally, there was a phone call that came across on that AT&T cordless or that green wall phone that hung on the wall in the kitchen.
Speaker 1:And that was it friends, and it was pure paradise. It was an utter escape from the rat race, an utter escape from your worries and your cares. And if we want to slow down time, we're going to maybe have to go back in time, because some of these people knew how to do it, some of these people mastered it. And we have to do the same thing. We have to take ourselves out of some of the things that make us so frenzied. So many of us are convinced that we have to get to a certain place to be able to enjoy life. You know, I want to get to this certain time so that I can travel, or I want to get to this certain place so I can spend time with my kids or so I can take my grandkids. You know, and for so many of us, that time never comes, because life is unpredictable, friends, and things happen, people move, people die, people get sick, things change. But what can we do right now? Maybe you can't take your kids or your grandkids on that Alaskan fishing voyage, but I bet you could take them to Jackson Lake, I bet you could take them to Tiger Pond, out in Aztec and do a little fishing, do a little talking, do a little sitting and watching the sun go down. That's good for the soul. You know we have these grandiose visions, partly fueled by YouTube and the media and Hollywood, that we have to have this mansion and this fleet of cars, feel maybe even inadequate if we don't have some of these things that we see others have. But they're just things, friends, and you know they did an interesting study maybe 10 years ago of income. You know, from 50 to 90,000, there was a significant approval in happiness associated with, you know, the freedom with having enough income. Now, of course, that's probably higher now due to inflation that we've had. But listen to this, from about the 100,000 a year income range and above, there was no significant improvement in happiness found, no significant improvement in happiness or joy found. And you think about so many of us are thinking, man, if I could just get another 50 grand a year, if I could just get another this amount in savings, then we'd be cool, then we'd be happy, then all would be good, be cool, then we'd be happy, then all would be good. And you know we're putting our stock in something that is out there hoping for the best, when what we should be doing is investing in the now investing in today.
Speaker 1:You know, my son, he comes in sometimes and he'll come from school or he'll call me or call his grandma, or call his mom and be like, hey dad, can you run me down to the gas station? Can you run me up to Dairy Queen? I'm, I'm hungry, I just hate school food. Me and my girlfriend, or me and my friend, we want to go. And I'll be honest, sometimes it gets annoying and sometimes he's a little bit uh, you know, kind of uh, overly persuasive, you could say. And at an inconvenient times maybe I feel like he's maybe a little inconsiderate of my time or what I have going.
Speaker 1:And you know what, today I was busy with something and I said, you know, I don't know if we're going to be able to finish in time for this son, but if we do I'll take you. But I can't guarantee. And he kept coming back in, kept calling, you know calling, and I said, son, you got to quit nagging me on this. Okay, I'm going to try and finish, but there's no guarantees. If I do, I will probably take you and as I was getting ready really quick to run and pick him up and take he and his girlfriend to the gas station to get some food, some healthy food, healthy and balanced meals there. Right, I got to thinking about it and I thought you know what thinking about it and I thought you know what. This kid is going to be 17 this year. There's not a whole lot more times that he's going to be wanting me to take him and his friends to the gas station, or he and his friends to Taco Bell, or he and his friends to the mall. Man, that penetrated my heart like an arrow, right, ah, wow. And it also changed my attitude in taking him. You know, instead of an attitude of, oh, here we go again, I was just grateful. I was grateful that he wanted my help, I was grateful that in that little moment I got to just be with him. You know, we saw this picture of this guy with a yellow shirt and bright yellow hair and he said I want to get a picture of that and send it to my friend and joke with him that this is going to be him in five years. And so I said wait, you know, I was at the light, I stopped, I said I'll get the picture for you. So I took the picture for him. You know, kind of concealed myself taking a picture here and I sent it to you. It was fun, but it was a moment that I wouldn't have had if I was caught up in the nonsense, if I was caught up in the rat race, if I was caught up in the craziness. It was a moment that never would have happened, at least not that day.
Speaker 1:And friends, someone I admire and look up to and listen to often have in the past is a person named Neil A Maxwell, and he shared a quote once. Well, he coined a phrase, really. He said moments are the molecules that make up the eternities. I'm going to say it one more time because it's so powerful Moments are the molecules that make up the eternities. Friends, molecules are the building blocks of matter and moments are the building blocks of a quality life. It's the moments that matter, it's the moments that you remember those little things.
Speaker 1:Those little things, as Glenn Gent used to always say in sales meetings, the little things you do that you don't have to do are always going to make the difference when it's too late to do anything else. So, friend, what are those little things? What are those ways you're going to slow down time for your family and for yourself and for your health, because you have to do it. This life goes too fast, that hourglass is passing too quickly, it doesn't wait for anybody. And if you're so caught up in the rat race and thinking you have to be everyone to everyone, be everything to everyone and be to everywhere for everything, you're joy, to find peace and to find and realize what love is.
Speaker 1:Because love can't be rushed. Friends, it's like planting a garden. You know you can't rush it. You can cultivate an environment that's going to hopefully increase its ability to grow, maybe speed it up slightly, but you can't rush growth and you can't rush love and you can't rush a moment. If you do, the quality of it will diminish in accordance to the degree that you rush it. And I know that from sad experience. I really do.
Speaker 1:You know, when we started our business back in 2008, it was also about the time that we adopted our first child, connor, who's my 17-year-old now. And oh man, I just look back on how rushed I was and how many phone calls I took and how it was just rush, rush, rush. Because you know, when you start a business, you kind of have on how rushed I was and how many phone calls I took and how it was just rush, rush, rush, because you know, when you start a business you kind of have to, but I really felt like I had to too and I and I missed out on some of the things that, uh, that I haven't missed out as much on on on our latest kids, and I regret that, but I didn't know it at the time, I didn't realize it, I didn't understand. And so now, when I have this opportunity to ride a bike with my child or take one of them to the golf course or spend some kind of quality time or read to them, I try and be in that moment, I try and feel that moment, I try and remember it.
Speaker 1:You know, I saw this Facebook post that struck me also. It said you know, imagine yourself at 90 years old and being tired and sick, not feeling good, you know, being not able to do the things that you're doing. You know, many of your friends have passed away. Life is different. Your glory years are gone, so to speak, have passed away. Life is different. Your glory years are gone, so to speak. And now, imagine looking back on this moment that you're in right now and thinking what you would give to go back and be able to live that again. Man that was powerful, so powerful.
Speaker 1:You know I can't tell you how many times I look back on the past and you know my kids are at this transitional phase where my teenagers are becoming older teenagers and my younger ones are entering the throes of young teenage-dom. And you know, my little one is just getting into the seven, eight, you know, getting to be, not be a little kid anymore, and these transitions are hard for me. I'm a sentimental fellow. I really am. I love my kids. If it comes down to anything else and spending time with my family, on almost all occasions I'm going to say let's spend time with my family, let's take them with me. I love it, I love spending time with them, I love playing with them, I love traveling with them and I love being with them and watching them grow.
Speaker 1:And you know I look back at some of these moments. These Facebook videos come up and these iPhone things come on, these collages of 15 years ago or 10 years ago, and, man, it's just like I almost need to go into a corner and cry for a little while. I miss it, I miss that time, I miss that joy, I miss that period of life when everything was so exciting and our kids were just growing and our family was growing. And you know, sometimes I look back and I think, man, it just feels like things were better off then. The world was a little different. The world was a little better off. And you know, it's just that I'm looking back on that epoch of time and how beautiful it was and how beautiful it was. And I got to be careful not to, you know, fairytale it too much to where I think that it's so much better and today is so much different. It's just that it's different. So how do I take the best parts of that time and make them the best parts of today? Where I am today, with teenagers who sometimes have attitudes and tweenagers who definitely sometimes have attitudes and sometimes like, are mad for no reason and happy for right the next and then hate me and love me. I mean it's different, but it's good and good is okay and good can become great. And I guarantee you, in 10 years I'm going to look back on these years and I'm going to want to be there and I'm going to realize how great they are.
Speaker 1:So, friends, how do we slow down time? It starts by taking ourselves out of the rat race. And so many of us live in this heightened caffeine-induced frenzy of feeling like we cannot quit, like we're this hamster on the wheel and we think that we're going to be more productive by just pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing. But it's interesting if you're trying to solve an equation and solve a problem in life, if you're so involved in the calculations and right there in the grind of it, the calculations, and right there in the grind of it.
Speaker 1:Sometimes, and most times, the epiphanies come when you're able to stand back, look at the bigger picture, take yourself out of it. You know, I listened to a really interesting book and this, uh, the CEO, highly respected one, said that more often than not, the very best ideas that came from their team were when they were on vacation with their families, away from the office, away from things. They'd have these sparks, these pops of ideas, of inspiration, of innovation that would come to them when they were out of the rat race, when they were out of the grind, when they were out just enjoying life. So do you feel like you're troubled? Do you feel like you have problems that are unsolvable, relationship issues that you can't get past, work issues, mental health issues, whatever you're going through, do you feel like your problem is too big, like you just are working so hard to understand it, to comprehend it, to make it better, to solve it, but you just can't? It's like that equation, that piece of it is just outside your grasp.
Speaker 1:Well, might I suggest that you take some time to step back from the calculation, step back from the push and the grind and step out of it for a while and find and do something that brings you peace. Go on a walk by the river. Take your son, your daughter, your grandson fishing, go to their little league practice and just watch the cotton candy sky as you think of how incredibly blessed you are to be in that moment, in this time, in this land, in this flashing ray of light, and take yourself out for a moment. And in the words of Anne Frank, a person who went through unimaginable horrors and tragedies as a Jew in World War II persecuted, family decimated, land decimated she said this and this is why it's so powerful, because it came from her. She said think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.
Speaker 1:So, friends, when life gets dark and dreary, when the hurricanes approach, when the mounting to-do lists and tasks seem insurmountable. Take a time out, take a step back and think of all the beauty left around you and be happy, because we live in a beautiful time, we live in a beautiful land, we have a community of beautiful people and you, friend, are a beautiful person. I'm glad you're in this earth with me. I'm glad we're on this spaceship careening through space. I'm grateful to breathe the same air that you do and feel the same sun, and I hope that you have a wonderful, wonderful day and that you join me next week on Life Notes with Sheldon.
Speaker 2:Listen every week for a brand new note on life. We hope that we have given you a way to get off the sidelines and back into the game of life as your best you.