Life Notes with Sheldon
Life Notes with Sheldon
Unplugging to Connect: Finding Balance in a Busy World
We explore how modern technology promises to make life easier but often leaves us busier and more exhausted than ever before, examining ways to unplug and rediscover meaningful connection in our overscheduled lives.
• The paradox of having time-saving technology while feeling constantly rushed and worn out
• Memories of childhood summers with endless free time versus today's overscheduled kids
• The value of living in smaller communities that preserve connection and "Main Street America" values
• How artificial intelligence may be undermining critical thinking skills in younger generations
• Choosing schools and activities based on relationships rather than prestige or programs
• Creating spaces for genuine connection, even through unconventional means like family poker nights
• The importance of bringing people to our tables and homes as a counterbalance to digital isolation
Go out. Do good work, be great and be sure to tune in next time.
Welcome to Life Notes with Sheldon, where we talk about ways to get off the sidelines and back into the game of life as your best you.
Speaker 3:Hello friends, thank you for joining us on Life Notes with Sheldon and Paul, where we talk about ways to get you off of the sidelines and back into the game of life as your best self. In our last episode, we started talking a little bit about AI and the precipice that we're on of this nationwide and world going into the unknown. You know, like as Frozen, as the song says, into the unknown and we, like as frozen as the song says, into the unknown, we are approaching the absolute unknown. You know we're we're we're experimenting with something that has never been done. Yeah, and we talked about, you know, the great and terrible.
Speaker 3:Day of the Lord is great and terrible. It's terribly frightening when you consider some of the repercussions and things that can happen. There's, there's there's the worst case scenarios that perhaps have never been more threatening than the worst case scenario with this. Is is really really, really bad, but there's so much greatness to there. There are going to be cures for diseases. There are things that you know menial tasks that we used to have to do that we aren't going to have to do anymore, that we can use our time for engaging and doing these things.
Speaker 3:You know, the thing I worry about is with the cell phone, you know. We have the information of the world at our fingertips, so much good can be done on it, and so many of us are spending our time on TikTok and news clips and reels you know what I mean when we have this immense power, but the extra time that it's giving us, what are we doing with it? And so we live in life, paul, where we should be having a little bit more time, should be having a little bit more ability to do things because of technology, but yet everybody seems rushed, everyone seems like man. There's no time. I'm so tired, I'm just worn out. I go one day to the next. What are we doing wrong?
Speaker 1:I think that's the adversary's plan and that I'm saying that because I believe in God. I believe in god, I believe in jesus christ, I believe there's a devil and I call him the adversary. I think I think it's a trick, um to get humankind families to be so busy that they can't focus on what's really important. Um, I remember as a kid I grew up at summertime, you know. We had the whole summer off. We'd ride bikes all through town everywhere we could. We'd play in the creeks and build dams and catch crawdads and go taking our fishing poles on our bikes and going down to the river and fishing. And I think the adversary, like I say, I believe in God and I believe in Jesus Christ, I believe in the devil.
Speaker 1:So the adversary, I think, wants to get us so busy that we forget to take time and be, just be. You know, be doing whatever you need to be doing at home, letting your kids do and do things at home. Building forts how many kids build forts these days? Just I saw someone on social media where their kids found paint buckets in the garage and so they were painting everything they could, rocks, things in the garage, whatever and the mother was so great that she was just letting them paint. Whatever you know, and it's first week of summer, why not? Let's just let them make a mess. And I think that's one of the most amazing things how to deal with things and how to to look at. Today we get so busy that to sports, club sports on the weekends, to Albuquerque or Denver or Phoenix. We need to take time and be a family and just be doing things around the garden with your kids and teaching them how to beautify your yard. That's an amazing thing.
Speaker 3:Maybe it's society too. Maybe, if society keeps us so busy, we'll be distracted and but where does that come from, when you say society, Well yeah, no, I think it does, but I think there's institutions that benefit from having us distracted, from having us so busy. You know what I mean. I think commercial institutions, um, and I think perhaps governmentally even. You know what I mean. If you have a people who's distracted and busy, it's much easier to to control, it's much easier to guide them, you know where you want them to be.
Speaker 1:You're thinking such on a global scale man. We're in Farmington, new Mexico.
Speaker 3:No, I just think that you know we, just because it's we're so global and so interconnected we are, I mean it's the global power is concentrated and it runs down and you know it's hard not to be programmed into the program that, whoever the theoretical they want you to be in, but it seems like they want us to be busy, and whether they're the adversary society, however you want to call it, it just seems like people are run ragged and it seems like they people are run ragged and it seems like they're running themselves ragged. And how do we combat this? In this era where you know your kids? It seems like some people are enrolling their kids in everything. It's like they're doing everything at once.
Speaker 3:And I had this word do you talk about summer? Remember KTLA? Yeah, it seemed like it was always on in our house. My mom was watching chips and you know I felt like I grew up in Los Angeles because a lot of those commercials.
Speaker 3:you know I go to LA and I see some of the injury attorneys and I'm like oh yeah, learner in row, or whoever it is, I know you you know, I listened to you growing up in the eighties but I remember this feeling and I was sitting in my backyard and I can't even quantize or define it. It was a feeling from my youth, in the summertime, where the days just seemed so long and sometimes there was an almost boredom because it seemed like it would be so long and it's like what am I going to do today? And it was. It was. It was like you know how your grandma's rolls or favorite food can take you back. A smell can take you back. It's like I could smell my backyard. I could taste the raspberries that grew in the back. I could feel the dirt of a little playground area and the garden area and a little playhouse and that magic little spot.
Speaker 3:That was the formative era of my youth and I longed for that, just wondering what am I going to do today, you know, and and when is the last time I just had that ability to think what am I going to do today? And it feels like there's so much that we have to do, there's so much of scheduling, there's so much of this. How do we get back to at least times feeling that and embracing that and getting some of that that we had, because you talk about growing up, you know, in the 80s and those years when we rode bikes and summer was long and we stayed out late and we ran with the neighborhood kids. It's just not happening.
Speaker 1:No, I have. Well, I'm involved in a lot of youth activities and I think you're right. But I don't want to be judgy either, because I'm not raising your kids. They're your kids and that kind of thing. But I think there's value to that from society, if you want to call it that, to keep everyone too busy so they're not watching the real ball where it's at. So that's one of the reasons I live here in Farmington, new Mexico. I actually live in Aztec.
Speaker 1:I'm from Portland, oregon. I grew up there. Well, I grew up east of Portland but raised my kids there for a while. I'm from Seattle, lived there for a little bit. I'm from Las Vegas, nevada, and lived there for a little bit, and we, specifically when we ended up here in Farmington, we could have left and we should have left, but we decided to raise our kids here because of the feelings that you just explained, that you grew up with, and that was probably here in Kirtland. You know I didn't grow up in this area, but we specifically chose to stay here in Farmington because it felt like Main Street America.
Speaker 1:When my friends back in Seattle would ask me, why are you moving back to New Mexico, I would tell them it's because they are the people there are the salt of the earth, and when I say that you know that's a scriptural term, I say that you know that's a scriptural term. It means that you know you're driving and you could actually where we live out in Aztec, you still wave to people as you pass them on the road. People I was sick this last weekend and someone found out I was sick and they so they brought me some, some Coke and some 7-Up and some crackers, and people do that. One of the great things living about this community and what I appreciate about the people here is the core foundation of ancient America, which is what I mean the Main Street America, the things you're talking about. That being said, society is pushing all our families, our kids, into club sports.
Speaker 1:We think that if we don't start the kids in sports in second grade, you know that that's a problem and we don't. We think if they don't make that club team in the summer, three, you, four, you, five years, six, you, 12, you, whatever it might be that they're not going to be successful in college or in high school or whatever. I think that that's. It could be a travesty if it's taken to extreme, of course, anything taken to extreme could be a travesty. If it's taken to extreme, of course, anything taken to extreme um could be a travesty, so I don't want to be judgy in that instance.
Speaker 1:For me and my family, um, I have five kids and and uh, my kids who all went to college. They all played college sports, you know, and we didn't do summer sports. I went I thought I want my kids home, I want them building forts, I want them in tubing down the river. We have three rivers here. How many? You can go pick up an inner tube at basin tire for 20 bucks used to be eight bucks or six bucks back in the day and you could tube down the river with your kids. You know we have great community. We have mountain biking here. We have um bird park. You walk with the kids and you, you know, with all that kind of stuff. I live here to stay away from the stigma of too busy, of a society that you're talking about, which is rampant in America.
Speaker 3:Question for you how much did Basin Tire pay you to mention their name?
Speaker 3:And why didn't I get a cut? So I want to cut. What is it? Cheaper tires, something? What are they doing for you, paul? Okay, I've recently come across some book recommendations.
Speaker 3:I used to be avid listening to audio books. Now I don't do it as much, but I do it quite a bit and I came across two recent authors, both Christian authors John Mark Comer, a book called Practicing the Way, and Brant Hanson, a book called Unaffendable, and he talks about how Christians in this society in general, we should not allow anything to offend us, and he says there's no thing found scripturally about righteous anger. He says it's bogus and he talks about some. Really, he challenges our view on humanity, on Christianity and a lot of things. But he basically says he and his wife have unplugged.
Speaker 3:They homeschool their kids, they don't do sports, they spend time around their family playing board games. At night quite often they go and they swim at the lake and they do these things. And he says they live on less money, they live less busy and when they first move into a neighborhood people think they're really weird because of it. And then, after thinking they're really weird, they think how do we be like you? And so they're talking about these ways that people are unplugging from this. They're unplugging from this busyness, they're unplugging from this constant pace of hurry and the benefits of doing it for their family and for their mental health and for their things. You know, I think that we've never been more digitally plugged in in society, ever, ever, ever, and it's just becoming more so how important it is we find time to unplug, and I think that's the key to connection, that's the key to fulfillment and that's the key to relationships.
Speaker 1:We were talking about AI and chat PGT and things like that. My daughter's just finished college, the rest of them did, and it's amazing how AI is basically writing essays now for the college kids and chat PGT is is doing the note taking for you know a class and they could actually just look up the curriculum and they can actually just look up the curriculum and they can actually create a note structure system on what the tests are going to be like and it's just computer-generated. And we're creating a society of raising a new generation that really can't do critical thinking, like they can't make decisions and actually figure out what is wrong with something. Why isn't it working? Because right now AI is figuring it out for them. They're asking why doesn't this work? Why, how do we do that kind of thing? I remember back in the day we used to have books on how to change brakes or take a radiator out or things like that. You'd have to actually read it and figure out the drawings if they're actually working and things like that.
Speaker 3:And ISBN numbers in the library if they actually working in things like that ISBN numbers in the library.
Speaker 1:It was so oppressive. Yeah, yeah, so literally we're. We're dealing with a society that is it's, it's coming to a head. If we don't have a rising generation who can't problem solve, how many employees or friends you know, or people in business who have employees, can't figure out and problem solve? That could be a problem for us in the coming generations.
Speaker 3:The reason why we have a free society, the reason why we even have the United States of America, is because people could think critically and problem solve. Those were the two inherent skills, and the belief firmly in God and justice were the skills that brought us America and the pioneering spirit of willing to experiment and try. This great innovation, all the innovation, but all of that comes from being able to think critically and problem solve. You know we're under the tyrant reign of a King. Is this right? Is it just? What are our options? How do we do this? I mean, if we have a generation that can't do this because they haven't had been trained to or have the capacity, then they're not going to see these things that happen until they're too late. So that is a is a worry I have. But when we consider this busyness you know my son is we had a wonderful grade school experience.
Speaker 3:Judy B Nelson the school is named after the lady who was the school secretary for, I think, five point three million years. She's amazing. She's still alive today and she's the kindest, humblest, most generous woman. I had the opportunity of attending fifth grade there and this woman made every single living soul feel welcome, feel valued and feel special. That was her superpower and my. Ever did. She use it and you know people like that. You know people like that. That is a true superpower, perhaps the most amazing and powerful superpower when you think about truly influencing others. And so that grade school still has that culture today, despite other principals and administrators and the challenges in the district, that culture permeates still. In fact, her daughter and granddaughter are still at the helm and the secretary running that front desk it's amazing.
Speaker 3:So we're going into middle school and the middle school in our Valley has had a lot of turnover and leadership, A lot of tremendous problems is low performing. I'm very concerned about sending my son there and we wanted to send him to Heights and we were kind of set on Heights and as we considered it, we thought of how much driving we were going to have to do, how much time we were going to spend after school driving, picking up, driving every morning, rushing out to get him there, deciding who's doing it. But then we started you know, what does he want? What does he want? Does he want the better music program or the better sciences? Is this important to him?
Speaker 3:And I sat down with him and I said, son, this is what we think would be the best opportunity for you, scholastically, maybe socially. These are our reasons. What do you think? And he said, dad, I don't want to leave my friends, I want to go where my friends are. Yeah, you know I'm not. The school may not be as good, but I want to be with my friends. And I thought that's it.
Speaker 3:And you know, we had some friends that were kind of pressuring us, wanting to do it, be with their kids and I'm like I had my grandma's 97 and I was having a conversation with her about our 15, 16 year old son and some of his friends are not necessarily who we would choose for him and it's not our right responsibility to choose friends for him. But as I was thinking about this, I told her, I said you know, it's probably better for kids to have kind of medium bad friends than no friends. You know what I mean. And those bad friends can become good friends with a little love, a little inclusion. And you find out, you invite them over to their house and you find those nose rings and piercings and long hair. It's not who they are, it's not. It's not.
Speaker 3:And I'd rather have somebody who had nose rings, long hair, coarse language that's a friend of my kid, that is real than somebody clean cut, looking perfect, that's going to stab him in the back and treat him bad. Not to judge anyone, but you know what I'm talking about. A real friend is something hard to find. And so when he said that I'm like okay, the decision's made, he can walk across the school, he can come over. You know, in the morning he walks over calm, he walks back as we consider ways to unplug and have a peaceful lifestyle. This is going to be huge for us. No, we may not be at the most elite school. You may not have the friends with the nicest things.
Speaker 1:It's going to be better it's the things that matter most.
Speaker 1:Because in today's society, as kids get older and more isolated because of the cell phone, because of social media, because of tiktok, snapchat, they are more isolated, which means they don't have as much physical contact with people. So for you to value that, to have him have actual friendship with people and to be that a core value, instead of having sending him to heights for better music program, better educational opportunities, whatever, in the long run the lack of isolation is going to bless him longer throughout his life than than that music program. That being said, I went to Iceland this last week with a high school friend. He's been my friend since I've been 16. So, who knows, your son might end up with a lifelong friend because you left him right there at Kirtland and it could bless him for the rest of his life, and that might not be the case If he ended up somewhere else. I have a high school friend that I travel with today and I'm 58 and we're still high school friends. It's a, it's a wonderful gift.
Speaker 3:What are we doing things for in life?
Speaker 3:If it's not about growing relationships? If it's not about that, we're doing it wrong. And I don't give a credit if my kid's the valedictorian or salutatorian, I don't. I'm sorry. If he wants to do that, I would love to see that. I've always wanted to have a kid go to Stanford. If I could go to Stanford I would do it. I don't know what it is about that valley, about that area. I've been to the programs. I'd love to see that for him.
Speaker 3:But you know what he wants to be a mechanical engineer. He knows what he wants. He's. He loves to put Legos, put things together. I think that's great. I still don't know what I want to do for a living, you know at 45. So he can do that anywhere. He can go to a community college and get started and go to, you know, a decent school. Maybe he goes to BYU, maybe he goes to Fort Lewis to start, maybe goes anywhere. He can do that. You know you don't have to be the salutatorian, the valedictorian, the top five in your class and I'm not going to put that pressure on him. I do want him to do the best he can. I don't want him to do the best he can.
Speaker 3:I want him to do pretty good, I want him to put a good effort, but I want him to live his life while he's going through school. I want him to have an experience with our family while he's in our home, while he can.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's ideal. That being said, I think today as a society and I think social media might play a part of this, because you said that the kids today are starting to realize the things that we did it doesn't necessarily have to be done that way anymore. You know the 40-hour work week, the working one job for the rest of your life. I have a daughter I have many daughters who will travel a month or two at a time. One has a college degree. She hasn't got a job in her field. She said I'm going to take the year off, I think I'm going to Jordan. Jordan is right next to Israel. It's in the Middle East, it's where Petra is. I think I'm going to go there for about a month.
Speaker 1:She doesn't have a complete time frame. She says about and then maybe after that I'm going to Italy, and it's the outside of the box thinking that actually will create a better society, that kind of thing thing. So it all starts with today. Most people would have put the kids from kirtland to heights just for a better music program, but hardly any people make this is oh, you have friends there, okay, I today, in my house today's thursday, um, I have college kids who move back home temporarily. They always come and go. They bring their high school friends back and we're nice Mormon, lds, lds, you know couple, family. We have poker Thursday at our house every Thursday, isn't that crazy.
Speaker 3:No, that's amazing. It's fun. I think I'm going to consider it.
Speaker 1:My God, my daughters bring these kids from high school who live here, and I have all these kids who have been in our home off and on through the years but they've kind of separated and they're not active and they have a completely different lifestyle. But they're coming to our home to play poker on Thursday nights and it's one of the most craziest things we've ever done. But if my kids are bringing people to our house, that's a win and if it's for poker I've never played poker. I'm learning how to play poker, so it's one of those things. I want to be involved with my kids, whether, whatever they do, it's not hurting anyone, and I think we have a five dollar limit on that whole thing so we don't walk away with much. It's a terrible thing for all you christians, but I just want you to know's bringing people into my home and my kids. That's not a terrible thing.
Speaker 3:Having a half-put-together, boring activity and expecting to come to church and be happy about it and excited to come that's bad. Having things that draw people in and that build community whatever it is, you know, within the realm of legality and propriety is good. It's bringing people together. It's bringing people to your table. If you can bring someone there, that's the key to it. Yeah, getting people back to our dining room table.
Speaker 3:You know you look at Jesus and what he did. He ate a lot of meals. We read a lot about him having meals with people and I think part of that was. I think there's there's things you see in scripture and often the nuggets of truth and things that you find are not the things that you look for, but there's something about him sitting down and having meals with people that I think is so key and that will so bring us back to a point in society and values and relationships. That is something we often overlooked and if you're doing something that's bringing people to your home and to your table, you're on the right track. So, as we leave today, let us think about ways we can unplug, and it's interesting by unplugging, I think we're going to find that we're actually going to be able to do some connecting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 3:So until next time. You know the debate is out there whether technology has made our lives better or not, but certainly considering the way we used to do things and asking ourselves why do it like we always have? When you consider where we've come from racism, sexism, so many of the things that we struggled with in the past as a society and where we've come, it's because of thinking you know, why are we staying in this box? Or why are we doing things just because this is the way they've always been done? Let's think about that. What are we doing? Why are we doing it? How do we think about outside the box and how do we bring people into our home and spend a little more time around our table? I love it Till next week.
Speaker 3:Life Notes with Sheldon Paul Go out. Do good work, be great and be sure and tune in next time.
Speaker 2:You have been listening to Life Notes with Sheldon. Listen every week for a brand new note on life. We hope that we have given you a way to get off the sidelines and back into the game of life as your best you.