Life Notes with Sheldon
Life Notes with Sheldon
Remember the Bad to Grow the Good
We explore the power of authentic storytelling and how honesty shapes both our national history and personal narratives. The conversation weaves through patriotism, entrepreneurship, and the value of embracing both the good and difficult parts of our past.
• The magic of Fourth of July celebrations brings communities together with a sense of unity and patriotism
• Benedict Arnold's portrait at West Point remains as a reminder that we shouldn't erase difficult history
• Anne Frank's diary resonates because of its raw honesty about ordinary teenage feelings alongside extraordinary circumstances
• True forgiveness means sometimes never bringing up past mistakes once someone has learned their lesson
• Capitalism begins with a dream in an entrepreneur's heart, not just desire for wealth
• Young people need to experience some struggle to develop the drive needed for entrepreneurial success
• Sharing authentic stories is more powerful than just teaching principles
Have a wonderful and safe 4th of July! Remember to be considerate with fireworks, especially around pets.
Welcome to Life Notes with Sheldon, where we talk about ways to get off the sidelines and back into the game of life as your best you.
Speaker 2:Good afternoon, friends, and thank you for joining me, sheldon, your host, and Paul Mitchell on Life Notes with Sheldon and Paul, where we talk about ways to get you off of the sidelines and back in the game of life as your very best self. At least, that's our tagline, but today I don't think we really know what we're talking about. We're just trying to get out of work because it's a Friday morning and it's so beautiful and has to be something else to do than work. No, we're grateful to be here with you today.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Sheldon called me up this morning. Hey, you want to do something. And I said, sure, let's get. We're painting over at the bank and it's just, it's a Friday and it's getting ready for the 4th of July and, yeah, I wanted to get out of work. So I'm happy to be with all you kind folk today and be here with Sheldon.
Speaker 2:Something truly magical about the 4th of July Felt it since I was a little kid and it was beyond just the fireworks. You know the patriotism of something about the 4th of July days of independence to bring people together. You know people go to watch the fireworks in the park or the Stakes Center parking lot, all the places that they go, and it just seems like they're more unified. There's a feeling of unity, of togetherness, of one cause, one heart, one mind, and I'll never forget that. And, of course, the magic of the fireworks.
Speaker 3:Bolak show man is it not going to happen anymore? I don't think so.
Speaker 2:I don't think so, right, so for those of you who don't know, there was this eccentric gentleman in our town who just had more money than he knew what to do with and more property and own this beautiful ranch, and I guess we're looking, looking to San Juan river with the bluffs behind it. And there's some stories you know out there that we could probably tell um kind of a wild frontier, wild West. Uh, doesn't give a credit about what anybody thinks, kind of guy legendary in our community but something of a.
Speaker 3:He was a legendary safari hunter. He ever been to his museum at his ranch.
Speaker 2:If you haven't been to the Bolak Wildlife Museum in Farmington, new Mexico. Honestly, my cousins were in town and they hadn't come to visit us ever and so they came and my mom was like, ooh, you have to go to the Bolak Museum. And I'm like, really, they've never come here and this is what we're going to do. We went to the electromechanical museum and then we went to with my son his preschool when he was with Melody Ivey. We went to the Wildlife Museum and I was blown away by both really. The other one is just kind of like a hodgepodge of junk and collectibles and planes and tanks and the darndest weirdest things Some of the first computers made. It's just really a very sundry thing but it's fascinating. So if you ever have a chance, you don't have anything to do definitely something to put on your radar.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. When I think of the 4th of July, I'm old enough to be alive when we celebrated the bicentennial in 1976. So I was in a play and I was Benedict Arnold. Do you know who that is, benedict Arnold? During the Revolutionary War, I was eight, I think I was eight years old, and he betrayed the colonies to the British Doesn't strike me as something you would do, though.
Speaker 2:How?
Speaker 3:did they peg?
Speaker 2:you as that.
Speaker 3:I don't know. I was eight years old. I must have had a nefarious kind of face or attitude or something, but they, they put me as Benedict Arnold. And then I have a. I have a sister who lived in London for 35 years and her kids. I mean, it's London, it's Britain. Right, If you, Benedict Arnold, went to West Point, did you know that? I didn't know that. And so if you go to West Point, I hear that his picture's on there, but it's turned upside down or backwards or there's a cloth over it. But my nephew, who grew up in a private school in London, Benedict Arnold, is a hero. So it's two different ways to look at it.
Speaker 3:But anyways, when I think of the Fourth of July, I I think of the bicentennial, which was 1976. And it's just patriotic, you know. And the other thing is, I've been to Lexington. Have you ever been to Lexington or Concord or anything like that, outside of Boston? I went to Boston last year and I grew up. I love the forefathers, the stories, Hamilton, Washington, Jefferson you know the British are coming Paul Revere, and as I was in Boston for the Boston Marathon to watch and we took a day and I went out to Lexington and it's about eight miles outside of Boston and it was a Sunday morning or Sunday evening, I can't remember. But as I walked onto the, the, it's a common, it's a green, it's like a town square, Um, that's where the first shots of the revolution were.
Speaker 2:I feel like I should be playing drum. Sounds like that's what you'd actually feel it in your actually. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I kind of had that pitter patter of drums in my heart as I was going to the common green and as I walked on, tears just started to go down my face. I was overwhelmed with the sacredness of that ground where the first blood of the Revolutionary War was built by seven men. And it overpowered me and it surprised me. War was built by seven men and I, it overpowered me and it surprised me. And, uh, just to know and be in the area where, where the revolution happened to form this great nation which I believe is God founded. I think this nation is founded on on the principles of God. I think the forefathers were God fearing men. Um, so that's the 4th of.
Speaker 2:July. So a couple of things I can tell. You're an honest man, because one you told me you know it was 76. And now we're how many years later Is?
Speaker 3:that a long time, is that?
Speaker 2:30? It's more than that 40. It's 40, right, 50 years. Shut up. You're kidding me? No, no way. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, let's just say it's 40, because 49 is too depressing.
Speaker 2:Okay, we'll say it's still in the 40s. So 40 years ago you played benedict arnold in a play, and so what strikes me is this isn't like most fishing stories, you know, because if it was a fishing story, you would have played george washington at the met.
Speaker 2:So you're an honest man, you're an honest man, your fishing stories probably stay how they are. But another thing is the benedict arnold thing. You know how his picture still hangs, but it's backwards or there's a cloth over it. I think it's important that we don't erase history and that we don't rewrite it. I think it nationally, on a world stage, and I think personally, our personal history, you know, being honest, recognizing. You know, something bothered me once. There were some leaders that said, you know, in your journal you should try and make everything positive, right, only positive, uplifting experiences. And that really was dissonant for me, because I don't think we should try and sugarcoat our lives and sugarcoat our histories. No, because the way that we strengthen others is by being honest and open and authentic about the problems that we face.
Speaker 2:You know the diary of Anne Frank, for instance. Have you read it? I've seen the. I think there's a movie, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:So I hadn't read it until about three years ago and I'd always wanted to because so many of the quotes and stories were very, very powerful. And you know, what she went through in the Holocaust is just a microcosm of what so many went through, the horrific nature of that time. And when I read it I was surprised because I wondered what is it that draws so many people to this young teenager's life diary? What is it about it? And I'd always wondered what the intrigue was. And for me, what it was is it was so honest.
Speaker 2:You know, she talks about having a crush on this boy and she doesn't pretend like she doesn't, and she talks about how she hates her mother. You know what I mean. She at one point says I hate my mom and she drives me nuts. And she's writing this stuff down. And I think the thing about it is is that it's so relatable because so many of us suppress these things and we repress them and we never recognize them and some of us, worse, are taught that we shouldn't even fill them Right.
Speaker 2:And she wrote them down in such distinct honesty that I think people not only related to it, but they admired her courage to do so, and it's become a monument. You know, and I think a large part of it was just the authenticity and honestness of it, of saying you know, I hate my mom right now she drives me nuts, or I really love this boy, but I don't know how to ask him. And just my sister, you know really honest things. You know a lot of it wasn't profound. Some of it was profound, but a lot of it was just day-to-day sincere found but a lot of it was just day-to-day sincere, blunt honesty, and I think that people respect that, people are drawn to that and that's what people connect with.
Speaker 3:You know, I think human nature, it's in our, it's in our DNA to sugarcoat our history. So we feel better about ourselves. And if you ever have like a grandpa or a father and you're maybe it's your father or your mother, and as they get older cause I've buried both of my father and my mother and they seem to only remember the good about their life and they might forget some of the harsher things. And as kids you remember right. I think it's also important not to. I think it's also important not to sugarcoat history.
Speaker 3:I think any human being learns from pain, from growth, from something that's hard. When I'm teaching my employees how to paint, I'll let them try it on their own and they struggle, and then I'll show them the correct way and I'll have them go back and fix the things that they did that were wrong. And then that's how they learn is by fixing what they did wrong. If I don't allow them to go back and fix it, let's say I have someone else come back who's more experienced, because we're in a hurry. They never learn, you know, if someone else is fixing their mistakes. So for us, in human nature and as a country, as a corporation, as family, as friends, I think you're right. I think we need to remember the pain and to learn from our mistakes and from the tragic things and all that, and that is how we grow.
Speaker 2:I had a dear, dear, dear dear friend, relative, a mentor, who was an older man, who, um, was extremely influential in my life, gave me my first job when I was 14. I drove around the neighborhood about four times before I had the courage to go ask him because I was afraid he was going to say no and I was embarrassed. You know just, you approach this kind of gruff, wealthy, older gentleman, you know, and I'm this 14 year old kid and uh, anyhow, um, it's funny story. I got the job and he says, you know, I thought I'd be working for his company, you know, driving a truck or doing something. And he says, okay, be at my house at six 30 in the morning. Son said, okay, I was there, I was there at six, 25. And he takes me out to his Iris patch by his carport in his front yard and he says, son, you see all those irises, you see all those weeds in my iris patch? And I said, yes, sir, I do. He says, bend over and make them disappear. So that whole morning and day I was pulling weeds out of the iris patch and I guess I did a good job, because he called me back the next day and the next day and finally, he trusted me with his grass to trim it and mow it. But his grass was the best grass in town and that guy had a garden.
Speaker 2:But you know, something happened, interesting His wife, after he passed away or when he was dying of cancer, I don't remember which. It was one of my dearest friends and mentors. She told me a story. She told me a story, and it's interesting that this story didn't make me think less of him or her, but infinitely more because of its honesty and authenticity. And she said you know, um, you may not know this, but he had a, uh, he tried drinking, I don't know where there was a drinking problem, what it was, but he said I think he just tried it once or twice, dabbled, you could say. Well, his luck was, he got pulled over and ended up getting arrested. And it was in the paper, of course, because back then they had the scarlet letter.
Speaker 2:You know in the daily times who got arrested and who in this, and you can imagine, in our community, you know particularly the type of community that we're in. Within a community, uh, that's could be one of the worst things that could happen. Well, um, she told me this. She said. She went and picked him up and he felt so bad, felt so guilty, felt so ashamed, felt so awful, that she brought him inside, put him to bed and never said another word about it.
Speaker 2:Right, because she could see that he'd already paid the price, already had to pay the image, all of this. And she never said another word about it, and neither did her, and I thought, wow, you know, that is marriage, that is love, that is. I have your back, I'm helping you through this and I'm never going to hold this against you. I'm never going to bring this back up. It's like this never happened and it was something truly, truly beautiful. And what was beautiful was that authenticity, that being able to share our life wasn't perfect. Sometimes it was hard, but then also sharing. This is how we navigated it and this is how we learned, and this is the way our love has propelled us through the storms.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I agree and to have that kind of marriage or that kind of relationship and also to be able to see what's going on in your spouse or your loved one and to not ever bring that up again, the discipline and the love it takes to be able to just let that lesson go and don't bring it up. I think that's amazing. And if we could do that in our relationship here in the community or in our family or whatever it might be, think what kind of community we would have. You know? But I think people like stories. I think if you can tell someone a story about your life or about something, stories are much more interesting than just being taught a lesson about principles. Stories are much more interesting than just being taught a lesson about principles. If you can share something with someone you know about something like that, that is how people learn and grow. So are you going to?
Speaker 2:share something. Well, you know, in our church they have what's called testimony meeting where people can go up once a month and share their testimony. And you know some leaders at one time kind of discouraged just telling stories, as they said it. You know, don't just tell a story, it's not story hour. And it bugged me and it bothered me and it offended me and I shouldn't get offended and I preach never get offended, so I'm not going to say that. But it struck me as something in my heart didn't agree in my soul, and the reason why is because to stand up and just say what everyone else says to me is not a testimony, but to share a story of how God provided miracles in your life and to share the way his workings helped you navigate this hard time.
Speaker 2:You know, for me the essence of a testimony is a story. You know the essence. How do we gather our? You know everyone's testimony of how they come to know Jesus is through a story. You know, through a friend or through a hard time. There's that story and without that story element it's just rote. And so I think that you know, in our lives, when we teach our kids, when we, when we try and share with our kids and model.
Speaker 2:It's so important that we share those stories because that's the way you reach people. You know if you're in a class whether it's a gospel centered class or even a class that you teach high school or you teach kids, whatever it is if you start telling a story, you instantly engage the listener. And you know the way that some of the greatest books ever written you know textbooks on business and on personal development are actually framed by. You know real and fictional stories. You know.
Speaker 2:Take the E-Myth, for instance, one of the oh, that's a good book, I would say top three business books written of all time as far as helping small and even large business owners with real world examples. But basically it's a series of stories, you know, of the lady who opened a bake shop and it quickly turned into a hellish experience. You know what I mean and every business owner has been through that. But the way that they teach you and mold you and guide you is through this story that they take you through. And so I think the power of story is is so important in every aspect of teaching and every aspect of sharing and every aspect of connecting. And I think, exactly like you said, you start telling your story and people open up to it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, I have a grandson. I'm 58. I want to semi-retire and maybe next year work one or two days a week. My grandson is going to be 20 this next week or two and he wants to take over the business, which is good, he's going to be great at it, but he's he's 20. So and he thinks he's inheriting a business without all the work. And I told him I go, you know, I'm not just giving you this business next year, I go, I'm still keeping you on the payroll for the next five years, until you have 10 years experience, basically, and then we'll talk about transferring ownership through payments and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3:And he was kind of hurt by that, and he also. We only work about four days a week and Monday through Thursday and Fridays are sometimes optional. He doesn't ever really come in on Fridays unless I really ask him to or need him to. And I was telling him I go. You know he was upset because he wanted more money every day, like you know, like another dollar an hour raised or whatever, like that. He only got me at this many dollars an hour and I kind of got upset with him a little bit. I go, you know what grandson I go.
Speaker 3:When I was a kid, when I was first married and no kids someone told me I could only make so many dollars an hour. I think it became $1,300 a month this is 1988 or 89, 1300 bucks a month and I was so upset with my boss I think I was working at a law firm and I thought you can't tell me how much I can make, you know. And so I started a painting business and I started painting on the side and I, I go you. This is something entrepreneurs and people with capitalism aren't. It's not natural. I look at my grandson. He doesn't have a natural drive to get more and more and more, and that's capitalism. To make more money, to have a better lifestyle, to give more money. It could be whatever. Whatever you want, have more money, it could be whatever you know, whatever you want.
Speaker 3:And I remember when I first started working I had a single mom and she had four kids who were home. One was gone and school got out and I was seven or eight I know I must've been eight and she didn't have a babysitter for me and my little brother. And I'm Native American and I grew up in Eastern Oregon in farmland. The farms are thousands of acres and she would drop us off.
Speaker 3:This is crazy, this is. This sounds bad. She dropped us off at the strawberry fields and then she'd hire us out to go pick strawberries all day because she couldn't afford a babysitter. So me and my little brother, we ate more strawberries than we picked, but we'd pick flats of strawberries and get paid a nickel or a little basket or something like that. But I've been working since I've been like eight years old and I never wanted that lifestyle for my kids and because of that I always wanted more, so my kids would have more. And I look at my grandson and and he hasn't hurt enough to be able to have a drive to want or need or more. I think that's a. I think that's a principle.
Speaker 2:People who denigrate capitalism are ignorant to the nature of capitalism, right, People who do sale capitalist capitalist pigs. They just want money, they just want to on the backs of others, but they forget that every story of the capitalist, if you will, starts with this dream. Capitalism, the essence of capitalism, is a dream that is planted deep in the heart of the entrepreneur and nine times out of 10, the dream is not based on getting rich or money. It's this idea that they have. And then they form this idea and they think, wow, this is amazing. They harness the idea and they think people will really pay money for this and they get excited about it. And then they also dream, you know, let's have a better future for our kids, let's have a better future for this. You know what I mean, and and and without that reward, we limit, you know the innovation.
Speaker 3:It's totally like you at 14 years of age in the middle of an Iris patch, right, I mean, who goes? I mean kids don't go out at 14 anymore and get jobs, do they? Well, mine are yours. You're amazing, mine did too, I mean.
Speaker 3:But in general, in general, no but it starts with a dream that came from somewhere, that drive that you just talked about with your mentor, that that needs to happen in people's lives, for this American dream. And I believe in the American dream, yeah, and I believe that's you know. I think you know we are, that we're supposed to be happy. You know this. We're here in America and we want happiness and all rights are equal and everyone deserves to be happy. But I think it takes enough pain and suffering and remembering the bad things, like you talked about, to be able to get that.
Speaker 2:So what if you offer to finance the equipment and the initial van or whatever for your grandson to start his own business? Let him go out and see how he does, how much business he can amass in five years, and at that point buy you out. Give him that chance.
Speaker 2:You really you want to take over? Huh, you want to try it? Okay, and now you owe me this loan. I mean, hey, just a thought, just a thought. You know what I mean. Because without that sweat equity it's never going to happen. You can't be given something and not have that that you put into it and, like I say, a business is like a, like a law degree, or almost like a medical degree, If you don't put in that, that fierce tenacity, ridden gosh, clawing your way through it. You know, without that you are not going to have what it takes to survive and you're not going to have that reward, at least not for very long. You know you have to pay that. You have to pay that price, and it's sweat, blood and tears.
Speaker 3:How many new business owners go out of business, you know, it's just because they don't have being an entrepreneur and self. I want everyone to and that's what we're. I want everyone to be self-employed, but it takes a certain mentality and it takes a certain pain and hurt and that kind of stuff to be able to do it.
Speaker 2:Well, folks, I have no idea what we just talked about. I hope you got something out of it. I know I did, I just don't remember what it was. Hey know that we love you. We're so glad to be in this country with you. We're glad to be in our community. We hope you have a wonderful and safe 4th of July and remember no aerial fireworks and be nice to people's dogs, because it can be traumatic for them. Be nice to yourselves, do good work and tune in next week on Life Notes with Sheldon and Paul.
Speaker 1:You have been listening to Life Notes with Sheldon. Listen every week for a brand new note on life. Listen every week for a brand new note on life. We hope that we have given you a way to get off the sidelines and back into the game of life as your best you.